Life with three Boys

What a time...

2012-01-30T00:46:00.000-08:00

January has been an extremely busy month with some funny shifts for Ian, a wedding in Auckland, and a trip to Queen Charlotte Drive near Picton to see Ruth, Andrew and the girls. Throw into the mix, a sprained ankle (Luka), Dad retiring, and a hacking persistent cough affecting all three kids and that' pretty much fills up the month!
It was great to get away to Auckland see how the other half live and great to come home again. Ben and Luka stayed with Mum and Dad and it all went really well there. We stayed in Ponsonby with Jo and had a great relax after the wedding and enjoyed a break in the routine. I don't think I could live in Auckland, it's too pumped up, too complicated and a little bit showy. Was wonderful to meet with old friends though and see how people's lives have panned out.

Jojo says 'Daddy'

2012-01-30T00:40:00.001-08:00

It wasn't loud nor particularly clear, but we were sure he spoke his first work!

When Mothers Get Sick

2012-01-03T00:43:00.000-08:00

The New Year was seen in with me sitting alone, while the kids slept and Ian was at work. The next day i got up to an awful virus, which started with exhaustion, was met with a cold and finished with stomach ache. What a horrible way to start the new year. Ian had to call in sick for his late shift, and Mum came around and cooked tea. There is nothing more complicated than a mother who falls ill. There is nothing more frustrating for me than when I fall ill. I loathe it, I look around and see all the things that I want to be doing and cannot get to! So annoying.
Today I went on to wonder whether I'm just plain exhausted. I haven't had a holiday in over three years, and I work 24/7. It's got to add up. This mothering business is definitely a labour of love. Ben has been at his Nana and Grandad's for two nights now which has lightened the load and provided me with some nice time with Luka. Today we dug potatoes, he ate strawberries and peas from the garden and 'helped' me plant some seedlings, chase some weeds and put some peas into raising mix. Was a nice time, except Jojo hated the playpen and I was feeling awful. Tonight made up for it though, made some fresh aioli for a potato, blue cheese and walnut salad on homegrown cos, and decided to whip the whites in the Kenwood so the boys and I ate meranges with whipped cream for dessert. YUM! Ian on nightshift, one more then off for four days. bring it on. See ya.

One Year Young

2011-12-31T01:52:00.000-08:00

Well, this time last year I was in labour! I cannot quite put into words what the last year meant to me, maybe one day I will be able to, but for now, all I can say is that it feels like Jo was sent from 'heaven', as were Benny and Luka, but it took Jo to teach me just how wonderful having babies is. I'm so sad in some ways that he is growing so quickly. Today marks the end of 'baby days' for Ian and I and although I never thought I would feel this way, I do in fact feel bereft. He is the world, the universe, there is nothing better, and that goes for all three of them.

And I just Have to Add.......your beautiful eyes light up my life, your gorgeous smile is so serene, your peaceful state is a reflection of how life should be, your trust in me is unequalled. You have made me whole, you have given me life, you have completed the circle. You represent all that is good and beautiful in this world. I love the way that you rest your head on me and make the most delicious little noises of satisfaction. You are an embodiment of all that is important in this world and I shall cherish you until I die. And that goes for all three........

Life is busy

2011-12-08T00:37:00.000-08:00

Life is so busy at the moment, but then again it has been more than a moment, its been like this since Jo was born. But I'm really happy and I'm loving it. There are downs, but generally speaking I'm so lucky to have what I have.
We are working very hard, Ian in particular, on the renovation. Today Ian rose at 5.30am and got stuck into the skylights in the roof rooms we are building. Hot and hard work, but he is a hard worker. I had morning tea with Janica and the kids, minus Ben, who was at school. They love playing together. Luka, Jo and I then went out to Waitara to shop at 'Binn Inn', boy, that was not exciting. Luka stole chocolates and was generally a bit naughty, while I don't think I saved any money. Later on I took all three of the guys to the supermarket at the Valley, which was good times. Apart from the stress of rising grocery prices!!!!! It is so great to have some fine summer weather too, definitely this makes life alot easier and more pleasant. I am so a hot weather girl, don't actually know why I even live in this province which gets more than enough wind, rain and cold!!!
That's a little run down for the boys to reflect on later. Sometimes It is hard to know what to write in a blog, esp as this can be read by others, but at the end of the day I just want to write stuff that will get the boys talking in years to come and save some of our precious memories. nite.
PS forgot to mention that Little Jo is crawling!! yay, he crawls properly with his knees but is till launching both hands out in front of him which looks very cute. Kind of like a rabbit, oh and he got his first teeth on the 11/11/11.

What can I say? Isn't he lovely........

2011-12-01T16:29:00.000-08:00

This was taken on the first day of summer 2011/2012, 1st Dec.

Luka! You don't stick swords in Peoples Eyes! - Benny

2011-12-01T16:23:00.000-08:00

The kids have been saying the funniest things lately, but usually I forget them before I get a chance to jot them down. Luka is not keen on his S's and keeps saying d instead, resulting in things like : "Let's ding a dong" and "Mummy selling doap". So funny!

I will endeavor to update this post when funny comments come forth!

Like yesterday, 30th Dec 20011, I said to Ben: "Gosh Sorry I've been such a grumpy cow today." to which he replies, "Actually Mum, you're more like a grumpy Bull, I mean, You don't look look like one, but You are like one." !!!!!!!!!!!

Or in the New Year I say to Ben (in an exasperated tone). "We talk to you until we are blue in the face and you still don't hear us!" To which he replies (nonchantly) : "That would make you a smurf then cos they are blue in the face...."

loving it

2011-11-28T02:25:00.000-08:00

I was walking along Tongaporutu Beach, on a beautiful warm spring afternoon, with Joseph in my arms and I was loving it. His mere presence is a joy. Watching Benjamin and Luka frolicking in the warm pools and knowing Ian was trailing somewhere behind me was like a piece of paradise. Pure contentment.
It is so important to get away into the wilds, to places we love and feel the energy and rejuvenation we get from it. Just wish it was like that every weekend!

changing all the time

2011-11-14T02:02:00.000-08:00

Well, what a busy time we have been having. Spring kind of comes and goes but am hoping for a break in the constant cold spells. I am really busy in the garden, trying my best to learn and work out the best way to feed a family of five from our own soil. I know we cannot be self sufficient but I do intend to make the most of it. The kids are a joy and still a bit of work. I cannot believe how much they are growing! Joseph finally got his first tooth on the 11.11.11. That took a while, 10 and a half months! We have ha da calf and lamb day at the school, where Mum and I did a soap stall, Dad's birthday weekend, where we had a nice family celebration and lunch out at Waiau the next day and the EVS variety show at the Inglewood Town Hall, where Benny played the ukelele and sung, was very cool. Was fantastic reward as a parent to see how far my little guy has come. I was extremely proud of him.
We also had a lovely half day up the mountain on Friday, gave Benny the day off and had a picnic by the camphouse. Was pure bliss, what wonderful children I have.

Moments of Meltdown

2011-10-30T01:06:00.000-07:00

So, here it is - me and three kids. Together. All day. Help. I think what makes things difficult for me at them moment is the age gaps between B, L and J. They all have such different needs and some days I have real difficulty trying to satisfy all of them. In fairness to Benjamin though, he has been great of late helping me to sort the others and keeping him and Luka entertained for large chunks of the day while I deal with Jojo. Today was one of those days. I couldn't put Jo down all day, unsure what was eating him but he just cried whenever I put him down and lo betide if I walked out of the room. Was a beautiful day it was though, sunny and warm. We started by cleaing out and filling up the spa, plugging it in and now waiting waiting waiting for it to heat up to 38 degrees. Benjamin is so excited. We also played on the deck, in between Jo crying and I mowed lawns and did the washing. By 4pm though I was shattered and ready for a break. All three were in tears in the paddock, Benny cos I laughed at him when I fell over in some poo, Luka because I growled at him after he ate poo and Jojo because he'd been crying all day. At that point, I was ready for a meltdown. Moments of meltdown are frequent but luckily short lived most of the time. But I do crave a rest, a holiday, something for me only. The work is relentless and hard, but I'm sure it will be rewarding in the long run.

"Feeling the Feelings"

2011-10-27T02:51:00.000-07:00

My children have been equally charming and demanding of late. They have all had a few ups and downs with sleeping and eating and Ian and I took them all to the doctor last week as ALL of them had a high fever, what a day that was! Luka can fight through a fever really well, but Benny was miserable for a day and poor ole Jojo was so miserable for 3 days, it was horrible. I just wanted to wave a wand and have all better again. Turns out a bracing walk on the walkway was a great way to cool him off and He has been fever free since. Nice.
I wanted to write about Benjamin and his seemingly amazing memory. He appears to remember almost everything that has ever happened to him and sometimes, it just blows me away! Luka had a touch of 'hand, foot and mouth disease', which I identified and was telling Ian about. I reflected to Ian about the time that Ben had the same virus when he was 14 months old and Ben said "Yeah, I remember that." I told him he couldn't possibly remember it, he was just a baby, we had a bit of a verbal tussel over it, to which he finally said (with hand on hip) "Just because babies are small, doesn't mean they don't have a brain, and they can use their brains you know, and they use their brains to think the things and feel the feelings!" I loved it. He is one of a kind.

Bringing Home Joseph

2011-10-20T02:11:00.000-07:00

I was reflecting tonight and on what a wonderful experience it was to bring home Joseph in the early hours of New Years Day 2011. Bringing Benny home at Lake Kaniere was also great, and I had Luka at home which was wonderful, but I have particularly fond memories of coming home with baby Jo. It fills me with warmth and love thinking about it! After a very painful and seemingly endless labour, and a fraught transfer to hospital, I delivered Joseph with one push and here he was gorgeous and beautiful. Not long after the birth, Ian had to dash home and get the car seat and he got stopped by police as revelries were all on in town being midnight 2010/2011. Once he was back we waited for the clean up, the all clear and packaged our bundle in the car seat. I remember waiting outside the hospital doors, at about 2.30 in the morning, in the warm summer air looking at Jojo. I felt pure and clean and very skinny after nine months of pregnancy. And he was gorgeous. I sat in the back with him and he coughed a little on the way and Ian drove so carefully. Other people were drunkenly partying on the street and it felt like I had the best secret in town stashed in the car. When we got home, I took him to meet his Nana. She was a little sleepy at first but loved that first hold I'm sure. Ian went straight off to bed !!!! (What was with that?) but I stayed up for a while and had hot chocolate and toast as I hadn't eaten very much at the hospital. Looking back, there really is no better feeling than those first few hours after having a baby. Must be all the hormones, but you feel whole and so alive. Excitement and pleasure abound and I was so happy!!! Wish I could buy that feeling in the bottle and stare at it! All the pain, and pregnancies are worth it, ten months on, we are still enjoying him immensely, he has made my life whole, complete and he has changed me for the better. I feel less anxious and more settled with my place in the world. It all goes back to that night.

Benjamin's Birthday

2011-10-16T21:08:00.000-07:00

Well, my little boy is growing up, really growing up, and its happening so fast! We had a lovely family brunch with Nana, Grandad, Finn, Great Big Ben, Lorna, Fiona, Pip, Dave, Emily and Jonathan. Lily and Ken were both crook. I made Ben a 'Planet Earth' cake and didn't do too bad a job considering how much hate icing cakes! I also made leek and bacon tarts, grilled tomatoes, mushroom and lovely bread. Benny got spoilt rotten with a brand new very expensive good quality scooter. Even I love riding it! Pip bought him knee pads etc and he got some plastic fantastic transformers too! Lucky Benny went climbing with his coussy Finn at the YMCA in the afternoon and then we caught up with Nana and Grandad in the park, while Ian and Luka both slept. Last night we spent some time on the scooter down at the Tennis Courts and then had a great evening watching the Rougby World Cup semi final between Aussie and NZ. ALL BLACKS WON! Got to skype Chris after the rugger too which was great. Great evening. Love my family.

news from homefront

2011-10-13T18:50:00.000-07:00

Luka is a full noise at the moment, swinging, falling, dashing, running, singing! he is such a laugh most of the day except when he gets hungry and stalks around the place grizzling and trying hard to grab food off the bench. He blew his nose on his shoes yesterday which was pretty gross, but at least he is trying! I absolutely adore him, as I do Ben and Jo also, they make life so worthwhile, with their beautiful smiles and giggles. I took Luka, Benny, Joseph and Lily to the pool yesterday. Thankfully Lily was a great help and Jo went into childminding with June. Luka had a Ball, jumping off the side of the pool into my arms, crazy guy that he is. Followed that up with an iceblock and a coffee for me and then the rest of the day at home. I hear that Joseph has woken so better sign off. ....)

my next blog is going to be all about my wonderful boys!

2011-10-12T02:31:00.001-07:00

i'm surrounded by the most gorgeous little guys, and thank the universe every day for them. my next blog is going to be all about them!!!!!!!

nine years since lisa died

2011-10-12T02:28:00.000-07:00

such a tragic accident, so sudden and so traumatic for all of us. when she died a part of me also died, the innocent belief that we wouldn't suffer. we are like everyone else, exposed to suffering and misery and loss, but i'm so proud that for the most part we have TRIUMPHED, especially mum & dad. without their determination to overcome, we would have all fallen apart. i admire them so much for this and thank them to eternity.

AJ

2011-10-05T02:30:00.000-07:00

My great Aunty passed away tonight at 6pm. I am really saddened by this and don't quite know where to put myself. Aunty Joye was a very forthright and determined person. She singlehandledly raised four children before welfare benefits were introduced. She has never had anyone look after her and she always managed better than most. She had her prickly ways but she always made us welcome. I remember great times with her as a child. She always had a good meal on the table, sometimes even KFC, and her beds were always warm. Her linen cupboard had labels outlining where she kept the singles and doubles and she was really into 'pretty' things like purple fake flowers and funny little signs. She could have a good laugh when she wanted and had us all in tears of laughter more than once. She was the ultimate eco warrior as she re-used and recycled so many things and was not interested in material gain. I have always really admired her her strength and resilience and if I am lucky enough to have half the guts she did, then I know I will do well. I'm proud to have her as a role model. Boys, if you are reading this at the later date - remember AJ as the old funny great great aunt who bought you books and little toys every now and again (second hand of course...) and know that she really liked all of you. We didn't see much of her in the year before she died, looking back things deteriorated for her long before any of us knew about cancer, and that to me is a lesson to make the most of our relationships, even if it seems a chore to go around and visit your old aunt. Every day is a blessing, AJ collapsed two day before I was due to go and see her and you know, I should have gone earlier. i will always regret that. Rest in peace AJ, you may have had a struggle at times, but your life has been worthwhile. You have shown me what true hard work is all about, and I will always admire you for that.

Beyond the daily chores

2011-09-22T02:24:00.000-07:00

I saw an image tonight of a malnourished child in Somalia. I felt sickened and so sad. I stared at the image for some time, trying to imagine my own children in this state, this was not a pretty thought. The mother of this child will be in a grief stricken and despairing state, just as I would be. I do wonder though, do we in the West think that as they are African they might be more accustomed to this type of suffering? Does this alleviate or eliminate any responsibility we have towards this state? I think so. It is so easy for us to think, 'there is nothing I can do', and that the poor people who are suffering in this way are somehow able to handle it better than we would. Well, I think they are suffering just as we would, and I think that we can all do something about it. That 'something' is to be aware of it, to discuss it and to question it. I do not accept this state of human misery, and in my life I will fight for these children. Watch this space. I have big plans.

Will we ever go out again?

2011-09-16T02:24:00.000-07:00

My birthday went un-marked this year, as Ian was on a swing shift. We always intended to celebrate as I really felt that I deserved it after having a baby in the summer. Never mind. Ian's birthday also went un-marked, as he was on a swing shift yet again. So, Mum and Dad gave us a voucher for a night out. First night we were due to go, Dad was sick and they couldn't babysit. Second time Grandad had a stroke, ditto third time. Fourth time, Ian was too tired after nightshift and I had a sore back, plus Mum was busy looking after Grandad. So I have given up. I came home earlier today and nearly burst into tears. There were nappies that needing cleaning, tables needing wiping and washing washing and more washing. I have put my back out and feel very fed up with the constant drudgery of being a mum to three and all the house keeping it creates. As I write this is it hailing and cold, so my spring optimism of last week has well and truly been replaced with late winter blues.

Six kids!

2011-09-02T04:02:00.000-07:00

Tonight I voluntarily looked after my own brood as well as Lodi and Miro. What a wonderful evening, was pretty busy but Lily came and helped out. I really enjoyed the chaos and the great little people running around and they all went to sleep in the same room and look very very cute. I feel like I have moved up the mothering capability chart as a 12 year old, two 5 year olds, two 2 year olds and a baby is no mean feat! Maybe the pinot noir helped......

The most beautiful sight in the world is your own newborn baby.

2011-08-30T03:38:00.000-07:00

About this Blog

2011-08-30T03:33:00.000-07:00

Hi Guys

This blog is dedicated to Benjamin, Luka and Joseph. I want them to read this in twenty years time and read about themselves, and me and their Dad. The time that I have with them now is so precious and so important and I feel like it is whizzing by so quickly. I want a place where I can come and reflect, record and rejoice in what I do everyday with my kids. A place where I can write about funny things they do and say and ordinary and extraordinary things that happen to us. In addition, this blog about about satisfying a need in me, it's about a place I can come and try to make sense of all the things that flutter through my mind. Being an 'At Home Mum', can be stifling, in that sometimes, you can go for days without adult conversations involving big issues, or even small ones. I'll be writing about things that motivate me, annoy me, impress me and confuse me. Hopefully it all helps.

S